A Rant Concerning the Moral State of Humanity

I generally do not deign to write concerning the foibles of my own species—thanks to the omnipresent work of the Internet at exposing and disseminating the most asinine, mean-spirited, and downright hideous behaviors in which we humans engage, our (purported) depravity is by now commonly known: there is no need to belabor it further. 

But today, I received the envelope shown below, containing a debit card for usage in conjunction with a community college in which I have enrolled for the masochistic purpose of taking a calculus class over the summer; and I could not help but be struck (nay, bludgeoned) by the crassly bald appeal to the presumed egotism of the consumer (myself). I cannot help but be indignant; this specimen demands a thorough jeremiad.

There is no need to disguise the fact that you are the center of existence, and that your needs trump all others': that is a given. It's "your world", isn't it? Finances, profession, and the totality of existence: these are "ALL FOR YOU", or so the envelope declares with masturbatory ecstasy. To demonstrate its devotion to the concept of guiltless self-interest, this company has created a diagram that ever-so-kindly equates the consumer to the Sun, around which our planet and all organisms that happen to not be You orbits (or at least the Western Hemisphere—that's the only hemisphere of relevance to You, is it not?); in this corporation's eyes, there need be no shame in unapologetic narcissism.

A male Pyrgota undata (Pyrgotidae), photographed by Mike Boone in South Carolina

Come to think of it, "narcissism" does not encompass selfishness of this magnitude: it is better termed heliodegotism*, and it is a repugnant task to give a name to something so disgusting. The envelope has now been duly recycled and my attention has returned to the more estimable things in this world, such as collecting my first pyrgotid fly (belonging to the species shown).

Disregarding your beliefs as concerns the existence of absolute morality, I daresay you need look no further than this envelope for a summation of what is wrong with our species.


*From helios ("sun") and ego ("self").